Any Grade A people pleasers out there?
The older I get, the more I realize how much this title fits. My instinct in most situations is to bring whatever type of peace and comfort that is missing. I hate the void left open when someone shares a struggle or a need. I love to sense a balance where negativity used to reign, and level out the bumps and bruises in our lives.
I’ve had to come to terms that sometimes the cost of giving peace means giving up, well—my peace.
This is not a litany of my talents…but a debrief of how God built this heart.
🌿Say yes to helping kids with math during my lunch break and then do recess duty back to back? Absolutely.
🌿Pay more on the utility bill because I know my roommate has been super stressed? No problem.
🌿Move my whole schedule around because a friend feels I haven’t been around lately? Got it.
It is a beautiful thing that we can bless each other’s lives. But I have stretched myself into some crazy contortions trying to please. My desire to fill needs has come back to burn me. I’ve equated asking for something or saying “no” as so selfish. Believe me, selfless love is one of my favorite purposes in this life (thanks Jesus), but yah can’t really help others if you won’t even help yourself.
Enter WEDDING PLANNING. If you want to really find out who you are, plan a wedding between your deeply Catholic family, Baptist in-law family, with your out-of-state fiance, in a matter of 9 months, with the beginning of a deployment. I LOVE this journey, but it has quickly revealed all kinds of areas to grow.
I learned right after our engagement that I simply cannot sweat whether or not our wedding or timeline fits what other people would prefer. People pleaser nightmare.
I’ve thought a lot more about the idea of being “true to yourself.” And I think it means showing up unedited. It’s crazy how much MORE peace I’ve felt since consciously deciding to leave room for my perspective. So much less torn between satisfying, and much more real.
Just like they say you can’t pour from any empty cup, you can’t give peace from a pieced up heart, so here’s to living unedited, and a little more whole💕